Serial Killer Takeover
To promote San Francisco’s American Psycho The Musical, I ran the Ray of Light Theatre’s social media accounts as the famed fictional serial killer Patrick Bateman, and had him post at hotspots around the city. A lot of people loved it. A lot of people were creeped out. Everyone was talking about it. Mission accomplished.
📍San Francisco
Good morning, San Francisco. Patrick Bateman speaking. Against their better judgement, @roltheatre has given me a smartphone and the login credentials to their social media accounts. They’ve requested I come on here and promote their production of American Psycho. Follow this week as I attempt to make meaning out of my empty existence by posting it on here like the rest of you 21st Century robot fucks. #SFPsycho
📍Salesforce Tower
Meeting with Mark Benioff to discuss brand partners for 2020 #Dreamforce. Non-disclosure prohibits sharing photos from the top of the tower but the view is as breathtaking as one would imagine. Lucky guy that Benioff. A little too lucky... #SFPsycho
📍Equinox Pine Street
Early morning spin at @equinox followed by upper body lift. Imperative to get in and out of the gym before all the lard buckets roll in and stink up the place. I wish they would all wobble their sad, saggy asses back to Planet Fitness. Home to attempt to honey almond scrub their image off the walls of my brain. #SFPsycho
📍Benu Restaurant
Dinner at Benu tonight, the only place I’ll eat south of Market. If you ask me it should only have two Michelin stars but I give it a pass because the service is unrivaled. Thanks to the Maitre d’ for squeezing me in last minute. Menu highlight: the deconstructed pork wrap. This chef really knows how to break down an animal. #SFPsycho
📍SHN Orpheum Theatre
Evening at the theatre with Evelyn. Avoided seeing this immigrant sob story for as long as possible but what Evelyn wants, Evelyn gets. I heard they don’t allow any white actors to even audition for this show. Reverse racism is alive and well. #SFPsycho
📍Lazy Bear
Yet another disappointing trip to The Mission District, which is still not as gentrified as one would hope. Was not charmed by the gingham decor, the communal seating or the literal gummy bear dessert. Are you fucking kidding me? Michelin is giving more handouts than the government these days. Lazy, indeed. #SFPsycho
📍The Battery Social Club
Lunch meeting at @thebatterysf today. Unfortunately the club has a strict no-phone policy, so SF’s B-List will just have to imagine what’s happening inside. High ceilings, hardwood floors and taxidermy on every wall. One of the most stunning examples of interior design in the city. But then again, I’m a sucker for a severed head. #SFPsycho
📍Bay Club
Quick dive off the deep end at Bay Club. Not many people know that swimming burns 15% more calories per hour than running. Plus it drowns out the sounds of the middle-class scum at this so-called “Members Only” club. Gives me time to plot. I mean think. #SFPsycho
📍SFMOMA
Just trying to feel something. #SFPsycho
📍St. Regis
A room with a view. And a large freezer. Goodbye from the St. Regis. #SFPsycho
📍Financial District
Takeover takeaways: Social media is the cesspool of the internet. Someone take this thing away from me. If you want to reach me, come see American Psycho The Musical, running until June 8 at the Victoria Theater. Bateman, out ✌🏻 #SFPsycho